Batman Ruins Everything
by SilverScyther
Summary: Any time Batman doesn't get to be in charge, he's going to make sure something goes wrong for whoever is. He's the only Bat for the job and he's going to prove it at the expense of the rest of the league.


"Alright it's time to begin out meeting, we have a few things to discuss, but if anyone has any specific concerns please feel free to bring them up so we can address them now," Wonder Woman spoke from her spot standing in front of the monitor. The league was currently trying a system where each of the founding members would have a chance to lead their meetings and Wonder Woman was taking her turn as essentially the trial run.

_Squeak. _It was an innocuous noise barely noticeable in the room.

"Very well, I suppose we should address our newest possible member and make some initial judgments," Wonder Woman continued when nobody voiced a concern.

_Squeak Squeak _A bit louder, but nobody paid it any mind.

Batman entered the conversation after a brief silence from the league members, "I've done research into Black Canary and without revealing anything she might not want known, I believe she's trustworthy enough."

"Why do you say it like that?" Aquaman spoke up, "Why is she trustworthy enough, not just trustworthy?"

"Because Bats doesn't trust anyone, right?" Flash offered looking to Batman expectantly.

"I've found it's the best policy when trying to ensure my survival," Batman didn't do anything other than offer the slightest movement of his shoulders in an aborted shrug.

_Squeak _The noise was long and drawn out this time being more noticeable especially to the heroes with heightened senses.

"I'm sorry, but can whoever is making that squeaking noise please stop?" Superman asked glancing around the room. A few rapid squeaks seemed to be the answer to his question.

"What is that sound?" Wonder Woman asked, "It's getting distracting." She was clearly growing frustrated at her meeting being derailed by a small sound. It made her look bad in front of the other founders that simple squeaking was managing to create such a fuss. The squeaking continued as she spoke in short bursts.

"It sounds like the scraping of a chair against the floor," Batman answered innocently having kept quiet as the others started complaining.

"Whoever keeps doing it needs to stop," Wonder Woman looked accusingly at everyone, "now tell me who's doing this." Despite her demand nobody offered an answer simply looking at each other, the squeaking stopped momentarily and then started up vigorously.

Batman spoke again keeping his tone completely unaccusatory, "It must be someone who can't sit still." Everyone's eyes seemed to shoot over to the Flash who immediately reared back.

He was quick to jump to his own defense, "I didn't do anything, just ask Green Lantern, he's right next to me." He gestured to Green Lantern who seemed vaguely uncomfortable with everyone's gaze.

"Look I can't say for sure if it was him, I mean I don't know," Green Lantern was just as lost as everyone else though he lacked the anger of Wonder Woman.

"That sounded suspicious," Aquaman narrowed his eyes, "How can you not know? He's sitting right next to you."

"You seem pretty quick to accuse people are you trying to draw attention away from yourself?" Green Lantern immediately shot back.

"Its better than being silent, I haven't heard a word out of Martian Manhunter," Aquaman looked over at the alien who made no attempt to get in the middle of the argument.

"I don't want to be involved in this," Martian Manhunter said floating away without making any direct eye contact. Batman snuck out continuing to fiddle with a small remote that continually made noises from hidden speakers in the lead lined floors. The rest of the heroes were left to argue amongst themselves. He glanced back and saw Superman upend the table while trying to cover his ears.

* * *

**A/N**

I didn't know what to write so I threw this short thing together. Basically a bunch of small stories about how Batman ruins everything whenever someone else is in charge to show he's the best Bat for the job. Not part of my Public Service Announcements of justice universe, but they're all a bit high strung here. If anyone ends up enjoying this I can make a chapter for each of the founder's attempts at leading a meeting.


End file.
